Dating in the Middle Ages will be the name of my book where I describe my experience dating in my 40s and 50s. At this stage I expected men would be mature, responsible, "woke" adults. Sadly, that has not been the case. I've met mostly emotionally stunted, damaged, less than complete males who don't know or want to know that they have a lot of work to do. Their maturity stopped at 17. They may be responsible enough to have a job but they can't manage their money. Or, they don't stay at a job long, have a history of multiple jobs, or don't have enough stability to be prepared to retire comfortably when the time arrives. Then there are those whose only concern is themselves. They don't have a sense of a greater community, community involvement, compassionate living, or giving back.
I'm far from complete or completely healed but I realized early on that something was wrong within and I needed to address it. It has taken decades of work with the help of professionals and sometimes pharmaceuticals to get to a place where I think I'm a wonderful human being who has a lot of offer and who deserves genuine love.
What is genuine love? That's tricky. So many of us have accepted the popular, media-fueled idea of what is love. We don't know how to truly express or appreciate genuine love. That, coupled with not being able to show one's own vulnerabilities and authenticity, leads to a love life fraught with anguish, complication, turmoil, and emptiness. Then we wonder why our love relationships aren't like the ones in the media? Where's our perfect happily ever after?
I struggle with the idea of being single versus part of a couple and apparently I'm not alone. This 2016 article shares reasons why it's difficult for a woman in her 40s to date. Then this article espouses the benefits of being single in your 40s. I must say that those benefits are compelling. I found this entertaining opinion piece about men in their 40s who lament about not finding a partner. Within the article you'll find a link to the NY Times article about single men. Based on all these articles, it seems the grass is greener on the other side, no matter what side you're on.
I'll shelf this decision for another day. Maybe the answer will come along as I continue my journey.
I'm far from complete or completely healed but I realized early on that something was wrong within and I needed to address it. It has taken decades of work with the help of professionals and sometimes pharmaceuticals to get to a place where I think I'm a wonderful human being who has a lot of offer and who deserves genuine love.
What is genuine love? That's tricky. So many of us have accepted the popular, media-fueled idea of what is love. We don't know how to truly express or appreciate genuine love. That, coupled with not being able to show one's own vulnerabilities and authenticity, leads to a love life fraught with anguish, complication, turmoil, and emptiness. Then we wonder why our love relationships aren't like the ones in the media? Where's our perfect happily ever after?
I struggle with the idea of being single versus part of a couple and apparently I'm not alone. This 2016 article shares reasons why it's difficult for a woman in her 40s to date. Then this article espouses the benefits of being single in your 40s. I must say that those benefits are compelling. I found this entertaining opinion piece about men in their 40s who lament about not finding a partner. Within the article you'll find a link to the NY Times article about single men. Based on all these articles, it seems the grass is greener on the other side, no matter what side you're on.
I'll shelf this decision for another day. Maybe the answer will come along as I continue my journey.
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