Dating in the middle ages

Dating in the Middle Ages will be the name of my book where I describe my experience dating in my 40s and 50s. At this stage I expected men would be mature, responsible, "woke" adults. Sadly, that has not been the case. I've met mostly emotionally stunted, damaged, less than complete males who don't know or want to know that they have a lot of work to do. Their maturity stopped at 17. They may be responsible enough to have a job but they can't manage their money. Or, they don't stay at a job long, have a history of multiple jobs, or don't have enough stability to be prepared to retire comfortably when the time arrives. Then there are those whose only concern is themselves. They don't have a sense of a greater community, community involvement, compassionate living, or giving back.

I'm far from complete or completely healed but I realized early on that something was wrong within and I needed to address it. It has taken decades of work with the help of professionals and sometimes pharmaceuticals to get to a place where I think I'm a wonderful human being who has a lot of offer and who deserves genuine love.

What is genuine love? That's tricky. So many of us have accepted the popular, media-fueled idea of what is love. We don't know how to truly express or appreciate genuine love. That, coupled with not being able to show one's own vulnerabilities and authenticity, leads to a love life fraught with anguish, complication, turmoil, and emptiness. Then we wonder why our love relationships aren't like the ones in the media? Where's our perfect happily ever after?

I struggle with the idea of being single versus part of a couple and apparently I'm not alone. This 2016 article shares reasons why it's difficult for a woman in her 40s to date. Then this article espouses the benefits of being single in your 40s. I must say that those benefits are compelling. I found this entertaining opinion piece about men in their 40s who lament about not finding a partner. Within the article you'll find a link to the NY Times article about single men. Based on all these articles, it seems the grass is greener on the other side, no matter what side you're on.

I'll shelf this decision for another day. Maybe the answer will come along as I continue my journey.

Striving For Simplicity, Part 2

**I came to check on my blog, after it's been dormant for many years. I cleaned up outdated links and found this post that I forgot to publish 5 years ago. Wow, things changed. This post resonated with me and allowed me to appreciate how much I've grown since then. I hope it helps someone out there too.**


The funny thing about maintaining, it's a facade. No one knows what's really going on. Everything seems fine. Why wouldn't it be? I'm married, have three wonderful children, a huge house, and good paying job. What more can anyone ask?

My problem deep down inside is that I wasn't following the purpose God set for me. It was a constant, slow rub against my soul. I ignored it for years and my unhappiness continued to grow. I used things to pacify my unhappiness. I bought more stuff as a temporary fix and distraction. Eventually, we accumulated enough things to fill our 5,000 square foot house.

When I decided to leave that lifestyle behind and move into a two-bedroom, 1,000 square foot apartment, what do I do with all of that stuff? We sold as much as we could and then gave a lot away. I was sad and at the same time relieved. It was a strange state of mind. Even after all of this, I still moved with probably three full bedrooms, dining room, living room, studio, and full size kitchen worth of stuff. There was STUFF everywhere.

I looked into renting a storage unit but thankfully the price was outrageous. A unit about the size of a walk-in closet went for $60 per month. I couldn't see myself spending $720 per year storing STUFF. So, instead I sold even more stuff for practically nothing and gave more away just to get it out of my place. Another benefit of getting rid of stuff beside freeing up space was being able to let go of the memories associated with those items.  I was freeing up my soul and purging my emotions as each piece went out the door. It was liberating.

I got rid of just about every piece of furniture I brought from the house. I also ended up buying furniture to replace some of those pieces, like beds, chairs, and tables. It started to be a revolving door. Stuff went out but more stuff came in and then eventually I accumulated too much stuff, once again.

My heart began yearning for simplicity. My soul was quietly protesting the state of affairs. I had to clean out my house--literally--of too much stuff. I usually have a bag or two that I'm filling up to donate to Vietnam Veterans of America or the Lupus Foundation of America. I also donate paper crafting supplies and handmade cards to Scrapping For Soldiers. This time around, I decided to also donate household items and a video gaming system to my church, Lighthouse Baptist Church.

I met Kristie Lippert, a co-founder of Scrapping For Soldiers, this morning to donate seven large and one small shopping bags of paper crafting supplies and handmade cards.

I get a high from donating. I love that my stuff is going some where it can be used for a good cause instead of collecting dust and causing me angst at home. I'm hoping in a couple more months I'll have another large donation to give her.

This is all leading up to my desire to move at the end of April. I have a contract on a 1,377 square foot house near where I currently live. It's a short sale which is a bureaucratic nightmare to buy. Even though the home owner accepted my offer right away, his mortgage company has to approve the sale. That's taken 2 1/2 months for them to approve a price which was supposedly "pre-approved" by the seller's bank. Then I found out that FHA needs to approve the sale too since they've insured the mortgage. What a mess! Thankfully, my mortgage broker advised me NOT to get the house inspected or appraised until all of these hoops have been passed. If I had proceeded with having these performed and IF FHA does not approve the sale, I would be out the cost of the home inspection and appraisal. I'm thankful that someone was looking out for me.

Here's the rub. My lease is expiring soon and I need to give a 60-day notice to vacate, which will be by the end of this month. After that time, my rent will go to a "market" rate which they estimate to be $200 - $300 more than I currently pay. Did I say this was a mess?

Please pray for a quick resolution to this home buying mess I'm in.

Thanksgiving Cards

I made two different Thanksgiving cards which I wanted to show you.


I apologize for the photography and angle. I wanted to take pictures before these got sent in the mail.

Handmade Fall Greeting Cards and Scrapbook Pages

... just Laura: Bella Blvd & Kerri Bradford Studio Team Up: Harvest Party

How should I use this blog?

Time goes fast. Life is a whirlwind. It's been a while since I've posted anything on my blog. I'm wondering how should I use this space? Originally, blogs were used as an online diary. That's so personal. I'm not sure I can share so much of my life to the world--not that my life is so unique.

Young people today are so willing to put it all out there. I'm a little old school when it comes to that. It's easy for me to share the sordid details of my life with my personal friends. But, to the world? I'm not so sure. Somehow, just for the moment, I'm feeling the need to share myself with the world. Where is this coming from? I won't question it for now, at least I won't try. It'll be hard since I tend to be analytical and at times obsessive.

I love the web. You can learn about and explore the world from your seat. You can connect with so many people and maybe share your experiences and encourage one another. That's what I'd like to do. I'd like to encourage someone else. I'd like for them to obtain the peace and joy I've found, even through the trouble I've had in life. It's a weird state of being. It's an oxymoron of sorts. Peace & joy along with a troubled life. How can that be? I don't know, but it is. I guess that's where my faith comes in. It's helped me endure so much while grace and mercy has seen me through to the end and I'm here right now.

I guess that's all of the sharing I'll do for now. I hope to post again soon.

Devotions to encourage you

Devotions | Proverbs 31 Ministries

Tiered Succulents Planter

Tiered Succulents Planter tutorial